REVEALED: How Maggie Clone became Home Secretary

MaggiemaggieSecret Falklands War mission that led to Mengele cloning Maggie to produce Maggie May

When Theresa May today told her Conference audience today that “there is no such thing as the Rule of Law or citizens or the BBC or the Opposition or decency or civilisation”, she was cheered to the rooftops. It was the realisation of a dream that began after Mrs Thatcher discreetly stowed away on HMS Friedman during the Falklands War, en route to a clandestine mission to consult her hero Dr Josef Mengele. In the days that followed, meetings between the Angel of Death and Doktor Mengele led to the cloning of the woman he always described as “the heir to Dolfie”.

Later in the 1990s, vital robotic parts of the Maggie clone were smuggled into the unsuspecting town of Walsall by up-and-coming Tory MP Iain Dunkin-Schmidtnutz, and then carefully nurtured by B&B owner Mrs Phyllis Tyne until they emerged under the alias of Theresa May, and were fast-tracked into the House of Commons as MP for Mädchenkopf.

Our story begins as a submarine carrying Adolf Hitler and Freddie Starr quietly slipped anchor from the port of Läderhosen, bound for Argentine and (…..cont P. 44)