Tired of all the money you’re having to spend persuading braindead Westminster gofers to leave the EU?

Fed up of Hairgel Mirage drivelling on about swarms of repulsive foreigners?

Hacked off with trying to get the electorate interested in a topic that is No 57 on their hierarchy of priorities, when up there at No 5 is the state of Simon Cowell’s pecs?

Not interested in coughing up for the failure of deranged ideas about 27 cultures becoming One?

The Slog has the answer for you. And you. And especially for you.

Simply bombard Sprouts and Krauts on a daily basis with UK News.

Stories like London bar to sell world’s first transgender beer brewed from hermaphrodite hops

Or Nando’s revealed as the UK’s most popular first date venue

Or 23st woman who had NHS gastric band says it ‘ruined her life’ as she can’t enjoy all-you-can-eat buffets

Or Dad’s KFC fury after he was refused bacon box meal as it was not halal

The message shall be this:

“You don’t want us, EU persons: we are obsessed with fame, junk food, sex, and SOB (Sexual Orientation Bollocks). As none of these are on offer (except for the élite) in Eunania, we are the last thing you need.

This message not brought to you by KUOBAM (Kick us out by all means) in assocation with IABATO (It’s all bollocks and that’s Official)

Recently at The Slog: Beware Greeks bearing ECB black holes