At the End of the Day just before the first Day of May heading towards The Arse May’s big Day in June.

At times, one reaches a point beyond which anger and frustration become counter-productive, and I passed that point last Thursday week. I had a distended upper colon, multiply twisted intestines, chronic indigestion and a general sense of misery.

I seem to be coming out of it slowly. It isn’t just the blogging – although that doesn’t help. Mainly it’s to do with reading, listening and watching every day as people get turned inside out and upside down purely for the convenience of perhaps a few hundred thousand maniacs across the globe. I have the kind of noddle (trust me, it’s a curse) in which these things get stored and sorted in cerebral files, and then pop out as thoughts – not quite insights, I think – that make one want to head for the nearest garbage can, open the top, and yell into it.

Here are a few examples:

  • The Brexit a majority of Brits would prefer is one that their Prime Minister has no intention of trying to get. But the one she wants is regarded as hopelessly unrealistic by the good burghers -more like hamburgers in most cases – who run the show in Brussels, Frankfurt and Strasbourg.
  • The Britain the majority of Brits would prefer is one where a person without ideological Party baggage but endowed with common decency and common sense was there with enough Westminster support to be the blindingly obvious one to vote for. But the candidates we’re being asked to vote for offer a choice between an odd Oxbridge individual with no dress sense – and even less sympathy for others; a public schoolboy with a history of 1960s failed IS radicalism surrounded by Hard Left organisers to whom freedom of speech is a stranger; and a Scot with a Beano-artist face who thinks life would be better for her compatriots in an EU clearly uninterested in anything to do with an Independent Scotland. Even as an undeduped aggregate, they don’t add up to anyone British I’ve ever met…..let alone “typical”.
  • Since 2010, the Labour Party has managed to lose almost every seat in Scotland, its majority in Wales – we went through the entire twentieth century without that happening – and apart from deprived London inner city areas, a reasonable chance of gaining any seat in England south of Stoke. Labour as a whole from the ghastly Balls to the grisly activists around Corbyn have done nothing but spit venom at anyone suggesting an electoral Coalition or even no-stand constituency agreement. They do not have a snowball in Hell’s chance of forming the next Government….but I can tell you, I’ve never seen the Left so chuffed, pumped up and enthusiastic as they are at the moment. “Very well then – alone”. Dear oh dear oh dear.

Just writing down those first three, I had to go and take a hike round the garden before continuing. I could offer you another ten examples at least – covering everything from immigration lunacy via Hate Crime and Fake News bollocks to pc Room 101 denialism – but this sort of rant is not good for a person.  The only option is to reach an overarching conclusion, and then decide on the best course of action.

My conclusion is this. The hypocrisy of Neocon Tories paying lip service to caring ideals and pc madness (while dismantling safety nets and crushing the pay and rights of labour) is only exceeded by the double standards and childish tribalism of a Labour Party which has gone beyond the ‘Broad Church’ it used to offer as a self-image, consisting as it does of neocon Socialists, fanatical Socialists, and globalist Nazi Socialists. But if you thought that sentence was a lungful, both these Parties are in pursuit of an electorate unable to grasp what is being done to them by divisionist identity politics, gesture politics, corporate fascism, politicised cops and judges, media news-bending, and a rampantly corrupt Civil Service following feather-bed politics.

As Sir Humphrey Appleby might have put it, “The Party of the first part exists to look after the parties of the corporate part that want to sell everything British down the river and reduce the income and powers of the Party of the second part which in turn exists to look after the interests of the party of the poorest part, but prefers to party on with minority party parts and blame everything on fogey farts who should be forcibly drowned in that river leading to the Party of the third part that outnumber the Parties of the first two parts by a multiple of some 34 million parts but is nevertheless being kicked in the private parts while drowning in the shallow parts of the sea of debt that refuses to be parted and will one day soon engulf the Parties of the first, corporate, second, poorest, minority, and fogey parts including all their private parts in every public park even unto those last remaining bits of the public sector part”.

Trying to make any kind of reasoned commentary on all that Bedlam is a pointless mug’s game.

So until The Arse May Farcelection is over – at the very earliest – I intend to inject some personal enjoyment for meeeeee back into The Slog. As the man said, “Trying to teach a pig to sing ends in you not getting a song, and just annoys the pig”.

I hope to write about natural things, human things, what the real point of all this nonsense might be things, scientific things, very silly apolitical things, and false caricature surreal things about the gargoyles involved in the election.

I refuse, however, to write anything serious about that election. I offered a view about tactical voting yesterday, but now that’s it.

Don’t look so glum: chances are it’ll be fun.