Nick Clegg, Theresa May, Jeremy Corbyn and why none of them want a level political playing field

me1511172A close friend sent me a petition to sign, objecting to Nick Clegg bagging a K, while Nigel Farage got nothing. On principle, I don’t sign petitions: they are an invention of those who like to give us the idea they’re listening, when of of course in reality they don’t GAF.

My own best outcome of The Cleggong Show would be for Napper Nick to become the first man in history offered a knighthood, only have it taken away via a message from the Queen saying “Only kidding hahahahahaha!” Unfortunately, Buck Palace has confirmed the bauble.

As for Farage, he deserves something better than ennoblement when his fellow Nobles would include Baroness Nettlethong-Fruntbotham and Lord Mangledbum of Boy. I don’t care for him that much, but he has made a greater impact on 21st century UK politics than all the other nonentities put together. Radical giants should receive a worthy one-off honour, not membership on a cynical honours list. I’d make him honorary Speaker for Life, and send Nick Clegg down the mines: salt, gold or coal, I really don’t care.

If you would argue with my use of “cynical” there, consider Theresa Mayormaynot’s behaviour in this context: she’s blatantly shored up her balsa-wood podium as Conservative leader by giving knighthoods to half of all the top wallies on the 1922 committee. This from a woman who got the top job without being elected by anyone….not even a bunch of bubble-dwelling, boorish Tory MPs.

But hark… I perchance hear the massed ranks of the North London Nazarene’s disciples declaring in unison, “We are all individuals, and together our democratic herd will ensure that, once Jesus Corbyn is elected Prime Minister, all this bad shit will come to an end forever and ever Amen”?

The “evidence” underlying this idiotic conclusion is that the new JC is a born democrat who will protect our liberties, return equality to the legal system and ensure that every wrong is righted by universal popular democracy.

Sadly, nothing could be further from the Truth. I posted earlier this year  on the Great Leader’s antipathy to a PR voting system that would help reform our ‘democracy’, but also mainly do harm to, um, the Labour Party. Three months on, the Telegraph caught up with The Slog and ran a specific analysis of how and why jeremymandering beyond that inflates his Party’s position at Westminster.

New analysis shows that 27 million voters are being under-represented by their MPs, because they live in constituencies where the MP has a higher than average number of constituents, making it harder for each voter to get their voice heard. Constituency boundaries are more out of date than at any time since the Second World War, but Labour is opposing changes that would equalise constituencies in a slimmed-down Parliament of 600 MPs, 50 fewer than at present.

The majority of the larger constituencies are in Conservative voting areas, which has led to claims that the system is biased against the Tories. But the full picture is this: were we to reform boundaries and introduce PR, the main losers in terms of seats would be 1. Labour 2. Conservative 3. The SNP: the main gainers would be UKIP for sure – and possibly the LibDems, assuming they can come up with something beyond clowns and EU subjugation as leaders and policies.

This is the botton line: the Honours system should be scrapped, and the House of Lords dramatically reconfigured….preferably somewhere that isn’t Westminster – hopefully with a sizeable element of members not answerable for their position to political influence, money, or braindead Party members.

Corbyn and his fellow hard-left travellers are no more likely to be democratic, libertarian or committed to what’s best for the greatest number than Tories or Liberal Democrats. None of this tryptich of fixated neoliberals, communists and EUnatics is representative of what Britons either want or need; none of them are open-minded, and none of them have creative solutions: they have only their mendacious depravity to offer us.

As I keep on wriing, the problem is cultural and constitutional, not political.