‘Boris Johnson is the new Prime Minister. He is being backed by the Bookmakers to stay long-term and is already odds-on to win the next general election. Johnson has made history by becoming the first ever favourite to beat a rival in the Conservative Party Leadership election, as he recorded almost double the votes of his opponent – Foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt’         (Press release today)

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Listen up young Boris,

although you do show promise,

please do not overdo it –

for you very nearly blew it

in your rhetoric to the House.

One cannot help but grouse

when you promise a Nirvana

although every last Piranha

from Phil Hammond through to Hunt

is out looking for the punt

that might soon give you the push.

Each foul Remainer ambush

from the far left to the centre

is akin to a placenta

still determined yet to tie us

to the Brussels sprout pariahs.

So do not over-promise

for Heaven’s sake, young Boris –

not every last clitoris

is put there for the licking –

you’re far better to be sticking

to a clean no-nonsense Brexit –

or else you might soon exit

Stage Right into the wings

of those dead pettifoggings

that dog every opportunist

who must have all power soonest

and thus always fails to see

each last opportunity

that might set the People free.

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The sole purpose of the preceding doggerel (apart from light relief and a thinly-veiled pitch to be the next poet laureate) is to remind everyone that Boris Johnson is a means to an end. That end objective is the destruction of blocist process, and its endless desire to shut up every last eccentric human being on the planet.

Better an entertaining doggerel than an enclosing catechism. When it comes to Boris, my mantra is this: set a thief to catch a thief.