The News & I

Rumours that the mainstream/social media and myself are going through a rocky patch in our relationship are entirely scurrilous and inaccurate: I filed for divorce twelve years ago, but then discovered I had nothing to laugh at any more. So we live separate lives now, and I make the most of being amused by their antics. Freed at last from the disgustingly knobbly Nosforatu fingers of Microsoft (in the aftermath of the tea-spilling incident) I find yet again – as with so many other facets of life – that good usually comes from bad. Thus, although the MSM will never investigate the truth about ISP and social media marketing gangsterism, it continues on its chosen path of being so bum-lickingly on message, one just has to giggle.

For example, here’s a little gem (left) from the Torygraph this morning explaining how a banker is going to “reform” the NHS. Yes, Richard Meddings is about to do some meddling, because the Covid measures designed to save the NHS have so completely screwed it, there is a waiting list for treatment of six million Britons.

Stand by for some thinly-disguised privatisation, given that Tsar Richard is also a senior Treasury bod.

What’s more, there’s also going to be an ongoing review of leadership by Sir Gordon Messenger, the general who led the Royal Marines’ invasion of Iraq.

Get ready for Shock & Awe as the Obersturmbannfuhrer mRNA Messenger invades our hospital system (secretly in search of weapons of mass destruction solely introduced by the wicked Count Boris) gets him hanged before anyone asks any questions, and then leaves a mess behind in the capable hands of Rabid Jabid ‘already working on a major NHS Reform White Paper, which aims to turn around failing organisations, and could see the creation of “superhospitals” merging different groups’.

Oh yes, for it is written and decreed that big-merger is always better than small and fleet of foot.

Nowhere in any of this reformist futurism is there any mention of the fat, super-impregnating slob Boris Johnson who – as it happens – is the British Prime Minister. And here is the source of my perhaps unpleasant desire to giggle – for much as I detest the PM and all his works (having marked him out long ago as antimatter) those busily engaged in getting rid of him make the Blond Turk seem like Mother Theresa by comparison.

And boy, are they super-busy:

This is The Times leading the charge to insist that Doris Jobsdone is about to have a shower of jobbies* landing on his head now that ‘a confidence vote is inevitable’. This is also the same Murdoch Times whose owner was feted by Doris as his guest of honour at the 2012 UK Olympics….despite the fact that the multinational press baron was a pariah in Britain at the time. Ah, to be sure – how the loyalty of life by the sword reaps inevitable death by the sword. And yet staggeringly – just when you thought the Dirty Digger Rupert was Absolute Zero in terms of ethics – note how his current support as a media mogul for the likes of Tucker Carlson at Fox News, sound analysis at The Wall Street Journal and Australian TV News doubts about Klaus Schwab set him apart from the rest of the MSM whores.

*For Slog readers beyond the shores of Great Britain, I should explain that ‘jobbie’ is Glaswegian slang for lumps of human faeces.

Here we have before us the interminable swamp that The Donald promised to drain, but didn’t. Back at the Telegraph, the Boris blamestorming lays it on with a shovel:

OMG, now Scotland Yard is involved, whips are fighting backbenchers, Johnson’s chief of staff faces the sack, Tory leadership campaigning has already begun, and the party-goer attendees in December 2020 poured wine onto an office printer. God help us all, what kind of depraved Caligulas are these people that they would destroy an HP printer with the fine contents of a bottle of Bouchard Père et Fils Vosne Romanée?

Meanwhile, the Sovyet Gullible Leftie-pc wing of the Great Reset Alliance still have their surreal noses to the grindstone that mills empirical fact into fluffy flour:

For under ideological totalitarianism, you see, naughty innuendo is strengstens verboten, and nobody must point out the truth about German militarist ambitions….or – God forbid – laugh about it.

So I fell to thinking about what the next target of the history vandals might be: Stalin must be forgiven, because he got rid of Hitler? Islam is the religion of peace because it wiped out all those determined to fight against female genital mutilation? Nazi soldiers in 1941 World War II were more polite rapists than the Soviet animals who liberated their victims in 1944 Ukraine? Joe Biden showered with his daughters because he was a passionate believer in water conservation? All healthy world leaders must keep their genitals clean with the use of Cuban cigars, or else where would we be?

It’s a somewhat guilty giggle one gets – but it’s a giggle nevertheless….especially when you consider that Labour MP Dianne Abbott has already promoted the Stalin apologia.

And finally, a quickie at the expense of the social medium Twitter.

I’m sorry to be a pedant here, but as always we don’t know who these “experts” are, or indeed what evidence they can bring to bear about safety. All I can repeat from previous slogposts is that 95% of masks are incapable of stopping the inflow of Covid globules because the weft and weave of the masks is nearly 300 times bigger than the globule.

If this really was a question of “public health emergency”, any genuinely compassionate citizen friendly State would issue professional quality protection to us

Sorry folks, but I have to cut this short because somebody or something is fucking about on WordPress with my klavier to finger coordination