More Mammon bollocks

The Daily Telegraph ran a great column January 2nd this year calculating that if UK banks had reduced senior staff bonusing by 20% over the period 2000-2008, the sector would have had an extra retained capitalisation of £87 billion. Spookily, this is exactly what it cost the rest of us mere mortals to bail the Shermans out.
There’s very little the bankrs can offer as a riposte to that, but offer up the bollocks they still do – on a daily basis. Somewhere a dozen or so corporate PR companies are earning vast sums of money churning out this relentless propaganda.
The banks screwed up in many ways, but the two most important dimensions of SNAFU for We the Abused are those double whammiies that needed our money to fix things.
The first was unbridled,naked,rampant greed. Had they shaved it by a fifth, everything would’ve been hunky-dory.
The second was doing lending and swapping and packaging and deriving tripe that had three fifths of Fanny Adams to do with financing the economy…but in the end became the major part of their business – and the catalyst of their doom.
“But we have to pay grossly inflated salaries and obscene bonuses” they whine, “otherwise we can’t compete for staff“.
Tip from one who’s been there and done it, guys: form an informal cartel, pay them all an exact scaled down quotient at 15% of what they get now. Then you won’t have salary inflation any more. Come on fellas – you’re morally and fiscally bankrupt: you can do it.
Also today: “We can’t operate this bonus tax ‘cos it’s going to make our reporting difficult”. Diddums. That’s cool, we’ll just take the bonusees out one by one. And shoot them until you come up with the answer.
The whole thing is laughable – but not quite as hilarious as the quarterly economic figures about to come out showing a small growth in the last quarter of 2009. No doubt the small growth is malign, but just watch those Government ministers declaring the end of all things awful from next week onwards.
This too is of course bollocks. Much of the growth is from an energy input spike peculia to the quarter; and such growth as there is can only be attributed to QE and other ad hoc Government money-chucking. Most disturbing of all is that (once again, despite a cheap Pound for exports) manufacturing output is as flat as a pancake.
“We can’t work out why” said one analyst interviewed by the FT. I think most of the rest of us can, but don’t get me started.