New developments in Obamamad
The White House is rapidly turning into a House of Correction. The Slog has been logging the inconsistencies for five days now, but the flow of cockups isn’t lessening. It’s also obviously contagious: Literal of the Year so far goes to the Daily Telegraph website this morning:
Four of the five people killed when US Navy Seals stormed Osama bin Laden’s hideout were unarmed, contrary to America’s original version of events, it was revealed last night.
On the other hand, based on the White House record to date, this may just have been two separate briefings given by Carney and Brennan. Either way, the arse/elbow/up/down/left hand/right hand tangled web of needless deceit continues.
Again in the Telegraph today,
US special forces fired at Osama bin Laden as he stood in the hallway of his compound, but missed
So then, not just two shots. But more than two. How many more than two? We’ll get back to you on that one: we were busy watching this dumb video the President said we had to watch at the time. More hilarity in this one too:
‘[Bin Laden] subsequently retreated back inside, a move which was assessed to be an “act of resistance”. He was shot twice in the head and once in the chest.’
Ah-haaaa. Not once in the head any more, but twice. Four bullets, then: that’s 100% bullet inflation.
But the act of resistance definition is a lulu, isn’t it? ‘Suspect shot for dodging bullets’ says top Seal. The diabolical terrorist swine.
Meanwhile, the building of a more credible ‘how we saved the world from the Devil incarnate’ scenario is continuing apace. It seems that, without the immediate intervention of the Navy Seals in Abbottabad, Bin Laden was about to blow up trains all over Europe. Speaking on behalf of those of us travelling on South West Trains in the UK, I have to say I doubt very much if any passengers would notice the difference. Having myself been a lucky survivor of the 1998 Paddington debacle, I’d rather risk an Al Q’aeda attack than travel InterCity any day.
Look: there is every possibility that the trains story is true. But if you’re too clever for your own good, after a while nobody believes anything you say any more. The boy who cried wolf wound up as the wolf’s entree: this may yet be Odrama’s fate.
Do we think the Euros in OBL’s coat were his expenses for the train-demolition caper? Not really. Do we think a frail man on kidney dialysis was up to that? Not really. Do we think a bloke who’d perpetrated sweet FA for six years was really on the verge of destroying the chemin de fer network throughout the EU? Not really. Do we think that Osama was actually just a train-spotter manque? Now that’s more like it….
For those of you who like gore, there is plenty of it at the Reuters website right now, where the grisly demise of cooks, couriers and sons is there for all to see. (I am grateful to The Slog’s long-serving foreign correspondent Dietrich von Ausland for pointing these shots out to me).
Eyes are shot out, heads blasted away, chests soaked in blood: it looks like a Sam Peckinpah movie gone ballistic. But there are no photos of two-in-the-head-one-in-the-chest Bin Laden. Because that would be a visceral celebration of a trophy killing: and we don’t want to look all blood-lust and vengeful now, do we?
I’m sorry, but this is just another rationale with all the water-holding capacity of a collander. I hold no conspiracy theory brief at all about this “too horrid for you to see” bollocks, because I wasn’t there. But as a logician, I feel able to say without fear of rebuke that puke-making snaps of shot human beings vary little – be they celebs, terrorists, South American soccer referees, or Abe Lincoln.
The rationale for NOT showing Bin Laden dead is wall-to-wall drivel.
There is a way round the Slog’s ban on telling the truth at websites formerly owned by considerably richer Arianna Huffington. You can post there and leave a link to this post – should you feel so inclined.
For ease of use, a new anthology page has been created under the witty wordplay title of Obama Bin Lyin’. Its link in full is: