PEACE DIVIDEND KILLS 80 IN PAKISTAN

Yes we can!

Despite the fact that shuffling, pill-dependent Osama Bin Laden was running every last Al Q’eida and Taliban mission during the adverts between TV programmes until his run-in with US Navy Seals last week, his headless followers seem to have made a remarkable recovery. Today they targeted the Pakistani armed forces and training centres, snuffing out 80 lives. I get the feeling they wanted to make a point. Seems to me like they succeeded.

Still, OBL is dead and feeding the fishes, so we don’t need troops in Afghanistan any more, because now we’ve got a peace dividend. So says David Cameron out of one side of his mouth – while telling his Right Wing that we’re “in there for the long-term and determined to win”.

No, sorry – I take that back: what Dave has allegedly told senior Sir Humphreys and Colonel Blimps is that he wants the ‘force density’ in Afghanistan reduced. I presume this strategy is to be aligned with the planned reductions in unemployment, bank bonus, police, student and welfare-piss-taker density. Sadly, it seems unlikely to reduce Dave’s own personal density.

Anyway, 80 dead Pakis* in return for Four More Years. These things have to be weighed carefully: it’s all about Realpolitik….in that Barack Obama really wants to get re-elected.

Whatever. You can get the details from the other media – that’s what they’re there for. Meanwhile, The Slog will still be here, foretelling the obvious. Please don’t mistake this for triumphalism: it is my own eccentric way of controlling the anger I feel.

* For any pinched goblins reading, can I just point out that this is an ironic reference attempting to suggest to non-cardboard human beings that somewhere – everywhere probably – around the world, there are knuckle-draggers saying 80 dead Pakistanis for a Schwarze** President seems like a pretty good deal.

** This is an old corruption of Yiddish***, meaning ‘black person’, and suggesting that its more important to get America’s first ever black President re-elected. This too is a subtle reference to the ruthlessness that lies not very far below the surface of the American pc Left.It is not meant to suggest that all Jews are racists.

*** This word unfortunately contains the sub-word ‘Yid’, these days referred to by otherwise rabidly racist newspapers as the Y-word. It is a cultural reference, not a slur like the N-word or the C**** word.

**** Polite abbreviation of the name ‘Cameron’. The number of asterisks relates to the number of footnotes we’re up to, not the spelling of Cameron.*****

***** Some day, all writing will be like this.

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Dick-Ed of the Month Award goes to the sub who wrote ‘Osama Bin Laden dead, live’ on the Beeb’s News site last week. It’s still there. Now the Telegraph has followed its lead. Oh how we laughed.