Killing two turds with one stone.

Because you are a complete knobhead

In September of this year, I wrote, ‘why is Quentin Letts such an odious, smartarsed, deeply unloveable berk? I watched his ‘sketch’ about the Labour Conference on the Daily Bollotics yesterday, and it wasn’t so much a sketch as the daubings of an infant destined for a long career in refuse disposal’.

It seems that, rather late as usual, the Left has cottoned on to Quentin’s degree of unfunniness by reading his New Year’s wishes in the Dacre Mail today, and taking it all rather personally. Even better – as a result of a Letts swipe – the Complete Barsteward Lord Prescott has challenged the twerp to a duel of some description. Were 2012 to open with them shooting each other dead, it would be the best start to a new year since the Portuguese discovered Rio de Janeiro (1.1.1502)

Coverage of the events on Sky Sports would be a distinct plus, and get me down to the nearest pub faster than the offer of free Vosne Romanee on draught. And to be frank about this prospect (the fight, not the wine) it is hard not to feel happy about twojags in pursuit of scumbags.

However, hidden down the list of truly execrable ‘humour’ in QL’s column today is this gem: ‘Steve Coogan, comedian — to drop the self-pitying, victim-of-the-Press routine and stick to Alan Partridge’. I wonder how many people of the Left understand just how worried the bespectacled bumhole would be, were the attentions of the Leveson Inquiry to turn to the activities of certain lobby correspondents in the old days before Dacre the Mad put a stop to the hackathon that was once the Daily Mail. I hear that little Quentin used two methods for getting his ‘scoops’ in those days: looking over other people’s shoulders, and digital technology.

Mind you, Quentin Partridge….now there’s a thought.