European officials are drafting a proposal to issue joint euro-area bonds for countries running a budget deficit if all of the region’s governments agree, Der Spiegel reported yesterday afternoon. The ‘brains’ behind this idea are, predictably, European Commission President Jose Barroso, European Union President Herman van Rompuy, and Luxembourg Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker.

It is also alleged that Mario Draghi at the ECB is in this loopy-loop, but that is strenuously denied today by the EU central bank. I’m not surprised.

It’s a crackerjack scheme, isn’t it…as in, it came out of a Christmas cracker, and will represent jack-all interest for the markets. As if this might excuse the madness of the wheeze, Der Spiegel adds that it ‘will not include existing debt’. Well that’s alright then.

Introducing an Initial Public Bond Offering from Wormwood Scrubbs Prisoner Embezzlement Collectives (2012) Limited. This IPO ill not included previous debt we welched on, but remember that with financial products, the past is no guide to the future. The value of your investment could go up, or straight in my back pocket, Squire.

Signed

B.Madoff-Widdamunny, Treasurer

E. Venalzealotoloplopulous, Hon Sec

One senses, somehow, that the markets are not going to buy bonds from a Fiscal Union up to but not including Germany.

They are, every last one of them, truly madly deeply stupid