HUNT BALLS: Jeremy’s moneymaking career turns full circle back to the British Council

As it is peopled entirely by wankers, why did the British Council escape Osborne’s Bonfire of Inanities?

Shami Chakrabarti, director of Liberty, four days ago opined that, “The more people who have access to sensitive data, the greater the risk that it will not be protected properly. We’ve seen that on umpteen occasions in the past. And when there’s a financial element involved, it introduces all sorts of incentives that are not necessarily about protecting privacy.”

She was referring to the NHS sale of private patient details to the world and its Uncle Tom Dodgy. I often have grave doubts about the “rights” industry, but the right to privacy when the data is nobody else’s business is obvious to anyone with 30% of the brain functioning. However, Ms Chakrabarti perhaps unintentionally hit the nail that is Jeremy Berkeley-Hunt right on his 70% fat head by adding, “when there’s a financial element involved”. For every situation answering to that description is tailor-made for the Health Secretary – Britain’s least popular four letter word.

There is nothing that Jezzer wouldn’t try to make pay. When he becomes Home Office Kommissar one day – and restores the death penalty – he will make all executions public at the same time, but charge an admission fee. A special stadium will be built including 4,000 executive boxes able to view the topping both live, and then in slowmo throughout their canapes. After the execution, there will be cockfighting between Romanians and Zimbabweans, and whoever wins will get buried in sh*t up to his neck, and face five bankers in full metal jacket jumping onto his skull. Those on the terraces will be given symbolically stale bread, and of course each week a different Newscorp bigwig will be guest of honour, accepting the opportunity to give the thumbs up or down in the classic Roman manner.

I have this theory that, as a child, Mr Taiping-Errah was probably lonely and repressed. But he wouldn’t have had an imaginary friend; he’d have had an imaginary enemy. His career since then has been one of building real ones at the rate of a thousand a day.

The other epilogue line in Chakrabarti’s observation was “introduces all sorts of incentives”. Give Jeremy Hunt a monopolous* financial element, and he will chase that incentive to the ends of the world. It seems his greatly quango-protected company Hobcurses, sorry Hotcourses, is for sale – and Ingenious Media is advising the firm. Regular devotees of Hunt Balls will know that without a great deal of, ahem, special help from the British Council, the Health Secretary would not be the millionaire he is today.

The Chief Executive Officer of Ingenious media, Patrick McKenna, is a Board Member of…….The British Council.

Legs up chaps, legs over the taxpayer’s anus, treble payouts all round, roll up those trousers – and let’s have the pervy handshakes at the ready! Masonic charabancs welcome at all times

* The Slog would like to make it abundantly clear that although a lover of monopoly business, Mr Jeremy Compleat-Hunt is totally unrelated to the infamous Greek fraudster Evenataloss Monopolous, and that the remarkable resemblance between their modus operandi is entirely coincidental.