BEWARE: If you have a balanced viewpoint based on facts and observed behaviour, you could be unbalanced.

Michael Fallon shocked Britain yesterday by telling The Sunday Politics that there are some fruitcakes inside UKip. In a similarly controversial outburst, Francois Hollande of France accused Ed Miliband of being unpopularly boring and maritally unsound. Personally I think the Conservative Party shows signs now and again of still having one or two pockets of pathologically mendacious fanaticism in there; but I could be wrong. After all, if it’s in the papers and the police confirm it well, s’gorra be true annit?

Here is a piece of logic I’ve just come up against on the Left: if you defend accused witches, you must be a witch. It’s a world view I suppose…of roughly the kind that led to trial by water. Remember folks, Jimmy Savile groomed  a nation: it must be true because the police and Newscorp said so – with perfect synchronicity. Those same policemen infected by mafia crime, on the take from all and sundry, fiddling the crime statistics, falsely arresting BBC DJs, and in bed with Newscorp…spookily enough, that very same Newscorp which ran the same headline on the same day in both The Sun and The Times saying, um, ‘He groomed a nation’….the very same Newscorp that wants to take over in the UK from the BBC.

I say he didn’t groom a nation, because such a statement is complete and utter bollocks in the same vein as Santa Claus getting round 7billion homes in one night, powered only by four reindeer, one of which had a shiny nose to use as the full beam option.

The Left is so easily manipulated by bollocks, and the crowd element in every tribe just loves a hanging. The evidence, by contrast, suggests that Savile was a nasty piece of work, a niche pervert who preyed upon disabled people of all ages, and probably ‘learned’ his behaviour from a father he spent an entire autobiography not mentioning. He was protected by the same Establishment now keen to use his corpse as a jawbone with which to slay the ass that is the BBC. Enter the entirely business friendly global monopolist, cop-corrupter and unelected political fixer Rupert Murdoch to take over once the BBC has been rased to the ground, and turn his news station into Fox News UK. Imagine the quality and objectivity of that outfit, eh? Ha! That’ll teach the BBC to stand up to Peter Mandelson, Alistair Campbell, David Cameron, Jeremy Hunt….and Alistair McAlpine.

I could go on reporting the facts until Hell freezes over, but life in a knackered, low-brow civilisation is no longer about stating facts like – for example – “You can’t sing”. Life now is about saying “You need to do some work on the vocals” – but receiving the boos of the audience anyway. Warning: telling the truth can damage your health and make you insane. The same knuckle-draggers who boo the honest opinion are married to muscle-bound tattoo-horses who turn up at schools to give their children a Big Mac, prior to beating up the teacher who kept his little princess behind in detention.

We just don’t seem able to handle authority, discipline, unpopularity or Truth any more, do we? But if you want to know precisely why we are – all of us to some extent – suffering from so many economic and fiscal woes right now, then you need to do no more than look in the mirror.

There you will find the apparently intelligent person who thought Thatcher was a genius, Tony Blair a safe pair of hands, the euro a good idea, Brown our Greatest-Ever Chancellor, banking the saviour of Britain, the NHS absolutely perfect, America booming, Britain turning the corner, Europe recovering, Alistair McAlpine a bewildered naif, the BBC run by Communists, Nigel Farage a mould-breaking politician, DLT a paedophile, and Jimmy Savile the man who groomed a nation.

There you will find the person who would rather scream polemics, repeat mantras, reject the Holocaust, sanctify every last Arab, frack away Britain’s water supply, believe the CO2 propaganda, stick propellers in the sea, listen to Samaras and Rajoy, and write off minority opinion as ideologically infected than face the facts, pore over the spreadsheets, talk to the witnesses, interview the accused….and slowly join up the dots.

Heigh-ho. Down this road lies book-burning, broken windows….and above all, splintered opposition that refuses to engage. But some will still patiently join up the dots and keep on telling what approximates most closely to the truth. We will have our websites destroyed, our lives falsified, and our reputations smeared until we are Unpersons in Britain. We will be fined for criticising banks in France, imprisoned for questioning the Government in Spain, framed for standing up to the Troika in Greece, spied upon for revealing hypocrisy in America, banned from writing about Fukushima in Japan, and deprived of legal rights to bond insurance and fiscal data in Frankfurt.

Because that, dear reader, is Thought Crime. I cannot write that paedophile networks traffic kids and the crimes against Jimmy Savile are exaggerated. I cannot write that the EU is anti-democratically fascist, and does have some real ideas about how to keep bankers in the cage. I cannot write that Golden Dawn are boneheaded racists, and they were fitted up by Samaras. I cannot write that The Guardian is a censorious newspaper, and without it we would never have revealed the full picture on phone hacking. I must not report that the Daily Mail is a rabid collection of unchecked barrack-room rubbish, and also better than anyone else at bringing lying banks to book. And naturally, I must not write that Netanyahu is an arsehole, and the Iranians are obviously developing nuclear weapons.

You see, all that makes me indecisive, inconsistent, off-message, and middle-of-the-road.So then, I’m still here: enjoy.

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