EASTERN UKRAINE: MH 17 CRASH theories, and other self-evident nonsense.


President Barack Obama’s deputy national security adviser, Tony Blinken, had this to say at a Washington press conference yesterday:

“Russia bears responsibility for everything that’s going on in Eastern Ukraine, and has the ability to actually de-escalate this crisis”.

In one hilarious moment yesterday evening, Mr Blinken became, on several websites, Mr Blanken: a man who could blank out reality to such an extent, that if you blinked you would miss him. It was more than slightly surreal that, having veered this way and that over the week past as to who did what to whom and why, the White House shimmied from “let’s wait for more evidence” to “ok, now we have the evidence and as we suspected all along, Vlad Rasputin is the evil genius behind all this, yours sincerely, Snow White”.

I confess to having put forward my own arsehole for examination earlier in the week, but in my defence I must point out that it was at least based on empirical observations of those who – unusually these days – deserve to be called experts. However, in today’s brave new dumbed-down world everyone is an expert. So it is that, as so often now, I find my inbox crammed to bursting with people who know.

Only they know, mind you: everyone else is an ignoramus. The difference is that, while I am happy to put my arsehole on the line if the evidence is compelling, these folks have travelled so far up their own arseholes they can no longer discern anything of an objective nature in the interminable darkness.

As a result of this inevitable confluence of the insanities, I am the proud possessor of seven different theories of how MH17 met its end. And to be honest with you, only two of them make any sense.

The first is that the EU/US/Kiev axis of bollocks connived to shoot down MH17 with a view to pointing the fickle finger of framing fate at Mr Putin. The second is that some half-baked Neanderthal separatist fired off a heat-seeking missile after too much Quince Vodka, with less than hilarious results. But whichever of these may or may not be true, it does remain obvious that the last thing the Russian leader needs right now is another dollop of sour sauce on his plate of gruel. (In this sense, I would compare the idiocy of the EU/US position on the matter as similar to that whereby they and NATO tried to suggest that Bashar Assad was bombing the airfields of one of his oldest allies, Turkey. Given his already embattled position, the obvious question to ask was always Why TF would he do that?)

Please, please, please can we face some facts. Crimean Ukrainians want, overwhelmingly, to be Russian again. They now are. Observe this chart from Pew Research:

ukrainepewressearcEast Ukrainians are less than enamoured of the EU, but they want Ukraine to remain united. Western and northern Ukrainains are less than enamoured of the Russians, and they want Ukraine to remain united.

Supranational EU/US megalomania is trying to fashion a  sh*thouse from a self-determining solution here. And no, endless new MH17 theories are not helping.

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