It seems that the Pentagon – that paragon of virtuous budgetary control – is inviting ideas about how to develop an airborne aircraft carrier.

I know exactly how they feel: I myself have for years been trying to persuade the Powers That Be of the obvious advantages attaching to the idea of orbiting submarines. Modern warfare is above all about the element of surprise, and nobody expects the orbiting submarine satellite. There might be a few problems when the sub Kapitan yells “Dive! Dive! Dive!”…but other than that, I can think of nothing that would amaze and baffle the enemy to the same extent as Star Subs.

Polaris missiles rose from the sea, struggling as they did so from The Bends and all kinds of other seaborne problems like giant squids and rust. But your orbiting submarine could fire ICBMs effortlessly from the ionosphere upon the unsuspecting decapitators below. And there would be absolutely no threat at all from depth charges.

However, the flaw in all this thinking is that these days, weapons are less and less required to kill people; their role in the age of Mutually Assured Destruction is to knock out defence computers, internet communications, currency values and banking systems. So I suspect that the Pentagon is barking up the wrong tree. Or just plain barking.

No, what we really need going forward is the ultimate element of surprise: the NUT missile designed to spray the enemy population with REEFERS.

Just to enlarge on those acronyms, the Natural Unvarnished Truth missile would drop leaflets upon the chosen enemy; and the prose contained therein would give all recipients the Real Effluent Futures Envisaged in order to Roger them Sideways.

Such propaganda would be immediately seized upon by the enemy as an obvious ploy to mislead…..following which negotiations could begin to embrace that result.

Think about it: everyone would think they’d won, and neither side would be surprised when the rogering occurred.

Well, I’m thinking about it now. And it seems to me that the Sovereign rogering is still occurring in places like Greece. The depositor rogering has already occurred in Cyprus. Long ago, the bailout rogering occurred to the citizens of Britain and the US. Furthermore, the NUTs have already been scattered and the REEFERS have all been read in relation to bailins.

But most folks seems quite content, because they think it’s all just the sort of misleading agitprop they expect from a flatulent internet full of screaming mad bloggers.

You have to hand it to the élites: they are obviously mad….but there is method in their madness.