The Twattering Classes

metoday Much of today’s PMQs Game Show was devoted to the appalling state of the nation’s mental health services. This is an important (but not vote-changing) issue; however, the debate might have been aided by simply dropping the word ‘services’. On Twitter, Mr Corbyn would’ve found a mountain of evidence to support the policy of making the mental health budget bigger than that of defence.

Take this one for example:


Mr Speaker (small and insufferably arrogant little man with tall nympho wife) was out of order himself here. I am not on Boris’s Christmas card list, but surely that is her official title? A bit of harmless satire is not the subject of a Speaker’s apology demand…..especially when so richly deserved. Maybe the Commons needs a fourth official in such  matters. The name Kate Hoey springs to mind.

Moving on from the mental health of those who put Bonker Bercow into the Speaker’s Chair, the illogic of this next tweet demands radical changes to the Mental Health Act:


Heather is making reference to the shameless embezzlement of UK State pension monies owed to 1950s born traditional grannies.

The words ‘to clarify’ there represent a double-edged sword honed to razor-sharp instant accidental hari-kiri by a dedicated kamikaze pilot.

A six-year rise in Ms Self’s State Pension is akin to the effect of a tax on contraceptives for a Muslim.

However, it’s the ‘that’s why’ bit at the end there that makes me doubt Heather’s state of health….or, at the very least, her ability to frame a logical argument. If a mugger robs 50 women & 20 of them can afford it, is she saying police should ignore their cases? Would that encourage muggers – aka future legislative pinheads – to target frail people who are better off?

Those in search of the Thinking thing here should look elsewhere. Anywhere, in fact, but the Twitter page of Owen Jones:


It’s the permanent desire for compulsion of others that is the main cause of my concern for Jones the smasher of all things Ungay and Offmessage.  Momentum has, as a matter of endlessly established fact, several prominent Trots on its Exec Committee, all of whom fifteen months ago nullified the group’s previous commitment to reject ALL violence in political activity. Even Jeremy of Nazareth was moved to make every effort to stop its founder from running for General Secretary of the Labour Party.

Owen’s definition of a smear is anyone – however despicably Sajid David by nature – who points out the obvious similarity between Momentum today and Militant 35 years ago. The long-suffering women amongst us must all be grateful that he did not become a gynaecologist.

But Rupert Murder’s Sun takes tonight’s star prize for IABATO – It’s all Bollocks and that’s Official:


You thought the daughter’s attache case did it… thought Sergei’s BMW air-conditioning did it….but you were wrong: it was their front door wot dun it.

It’s not just that Murdoch himself has more than earned the right to a plush cell in Broadmoor in recognition of his dark deeds; it’s the implausible insanity of those millions of Brits who (a) salute Roop for turning UK soccer into the Delorean of business models and (b) sign up to the Government’s version of events in Salisbury.

If Corbyn really was the Messiah born among us, his first PMQ today would’ve been:

“Does the Prime Minister agree with me that the Nation’s mental health is a cause of grave concern for all those who still believe that the certifiably insane should not be allowed to vote?”