Every once in a while, I am moved to create a post of casually unpleasant and rabid criticism. It is all very well being a contrarian, but even an incorrigibly cognitive dissident such as myself needs to blend in with the Hate-not-Love Establishment from time to time.
Guy Verhofstadt is a lying, corrupt, ugly and yet cunning little bastard whose thankless task is to try and make thinking people believe that he has liberal democratic values, whereas in fact he is of no value at all to the Planet Earth, and is a serial abuser of its limited oxygen supply.
Having filled his boots advising psychopaths in his circle on the subject of bleeding Greece dry, his attention has now turned to Hungary. Hungary is a subject close to the organ that most resembles a heart for Guy Fatheadshit, because his father Nikita Krushchev lived up to his surname by krushing its desire for freedom in 1956. The only good outcome of this was that Ferenc Puskas escaped to crown a glorious footie career by starring in the unique Real Madrid side of the late 1950s.
Very few people know of Guy Verhofsturd’s real parentage, but I can now exclusively reveal that Kruschev (a lifelong fan of interspecies sex research) donated his overactive spermatazoa to a compliant Soviet hog in July 1952, and the result on April 11th 1953 was Guy Maurice Marie Louise Verhofstadt. Guy the Manpig was donated to the East German régime in 1954, but it rejected him, and so – on the specific orders Jugendführerin Angela Merkel – the toddler was placed under the care of Le Comité Belgique pour le relève de Faillites Scientifiques in 1956.
The passage of DNA from Kruschev to Veryshitprat is hard to deny, as this exhaustively researched and annotated illustration shows:
Carrying on the fine liberal repressively progressive policies of the USSR, long-term Soviet “sleeper” agent Unfairhalfhog now enjoys unelected EUSSR power to declare that Viktor Orban lacks the ‘democratic values’ of the EU we all love and adore with unashamed vigour.
This is obvious, given that Orban has never supported a war in Syria, mass immigration across the European continent, unaffordable sales of German submarines to Greece, the euro, the hopes and aspirations of British Remainers…..
……NATO World hegemony, or indeed a federalised Europe.
Others with similar views to Mr Orban include a very clear majority of Italian, Greek, British, Polish, Cypriot, Slovakian, Romanian, Croatian and Bulgarian citizens….along with substantial minorities in Sweden, Austria, France and Germany.
So whatever you do, don’t take Hungary’s side in this spat, or you may wind up categorised as a racistbigotscumfascistterrorist….as opposed to someone, like – you know, really nice – who just went with the gentle flow of totalitarian misanthropy that led to a dystopian nightmare. Like Gerry and Margot next door did.
So don’t rock the boat. It’s already crowded as it is.
Dear Sprouts, this is a joke. As is Guy Verhofstadt