THE SATURDAY SMILE: a tale of Britannia and the Lion



Britannia and the Lion

There’s a last resort Belgians call Bruxelles

that’s noted for hot air and lies

And Mr & Mrs Great Britain

went there with the stars in their eyes.

A fine feast was laid at the table

in Nineteen and Seventy Five –

there was growth, there was fairness and freedom

where every dream might arrive.

They marveled at every promise –

the federal objective was small

there was no central bank and no Euro

in fact nowt much to laugh at at all.

So seeking for further amusement

they voted to stay in the zoo:

there were tigers and elephants everywhere

and ruddy great lions too.

There was one Euro lion called DeLors

and an Aussie tabloid called The Sun

whose headline told Jacques ‘Stick it up yours’

and oh how we laughed at such fun.

But soon there arrived Margaret Thatcher

who promised material glee –

a neolib golden egg hatcher,

who doubted this new EEC.

At first Maggie’s outlook was so strict

they dubbed her the Lady of Iron –

but sadly she signed up for Maastricht,

her head in the mouth of the Lion.

You could see that the lion just loved it

for giving a bit of a roll

he pulled Britain into the madhouse

and swallowed its sovereignty whole.

Mr Britain had clocked the occurrence

and read the entire Lisbon text, 

So he told his wife,  “Lion’s ate our freedom”

and Mrs B said, “Ooh yer know, I’m that vexed!” 

But then came the patriot Farage –

a bloke who had spotted the con.

He treated the Sprouts to a barrage,

and poked the eyes of Cameron.

And so there came a referendum,

and wise Britons voted to leave –

but now there’s debate neverendum

from hidden rats up every sleeve.

Their hero is Baron Adonis

our traitor is Theresa May –

but where they are both quite at one is

they’ve got nothing useful to say.

So Mr & Mrs Great Britain

tell Remainers who haven’t a clue:

“Get theeself down tert Tigers’ enclosure

And see what them buggers can do”.