The Serious Season now being officially closed, The Slog takes a less than diligent look at Momentum misanthropes, Lives Matter Looneys, Virtue signalling victims and alarming Alsation beer. All human strife is there.

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First giggle of the day was a chum forwarding to me a Momentum email alerting all NotMyPrimeMinister robots to a meeting condemning ID cards as a means of the FascistNaziphobic State crushing the working class’s right to vote in their billions for MulticulturaLabour-a-Gogo.

At the bottom of the email it said “ENTRANCE STRICTLY CONFINED TO THOSE WITH APPROVED MOMENTUM MEMBERSHIP ID CARDS”. Doncha love it?

***

In 2016, the Williams Institute indicated that the incidence of trans people in the US was roughly 0.6%. In the UK, NHS data calls the level “under 0.8%”. Over the last ten years, the British LibLeft has been obsessed with telling us that certain carefully selected lives matter. All human life matters. All life on Earth matters. But the difference between Mad Labour and Trad Labour is that the former desperately need issues to divide us along new lines of class warfare.

It is now very hard indeed to see where the ‘Lives Matter’ narcissism goes next. We only give votes to human beings (currently – but give the nutters time) and so – in the hope that the antidemocratic LibLeft continues on its journey to self-destruction – I offer some new Lives for it to adopt.

Magenta Lives Matter

Parallel Lives Matter

Larger than life Lives Matter

Lives Imitating Art Matter

Lives led in the fast lane Matter

Double-Lives Matter

Low lives Matter

Live Premiership Footie games Matter

Plenty of rock-solid populism to work with among that lot.

***

Here’s a question with which to bamboozle family members you don’t like very much over Christmas lunch this year.

Wait for the particular knee-jerk virtue-flag-waving pillock to emit his signal of Holiness, and then proceed as follows:

Jerk: Calling trans women men is offensive and should be against the law….

You: Without question, you are right.

Slight pause as Jerk’s forkfull of Turkey freezes in mid-insertion

J: You think so?

Y: Absolutely. Your view is questionable.

J: Ah. I thought you said you agree with me?

Y: No I didn’t.

J: But you said my opinion wasn’t open to question.

Y: Correct. But it should be.

J: I’m sorry….?

Y: If nobody questions your opinion, it will be deemed correct. But your opinion is questionable.

J: Oh really? And what question would you ask to put my opinion in doubt?

Y: Something like, “Are you mad or what?”

Jerk allows himself a patronising sneer.

J: That is not, with respect, an attack on my logic.

Y: On the contrary, it’s a question suggesting your judgement is questionable. The question in question is should a question mark be placed around your sanity on the question of the highly questionable transgender question. And I think it should.

J: Should be what?

Y: Questioned with a view to questioning its questionability.

J: What should be?

Y: The opinion in question, which is an open question I feel should be called into question….

J: But surely progressives like me should lead the way on such matters?

Y: Ah, but that would make it a leading question, and inadmissable given that it fails to beg the question as to whether your opinion is beyond question. I mean, if nobody fields such questions, they become loaded questions, and in our scientific age, such a thing would be out of the question, don’t you agree?

J: Well, er…

Y: More stuffing?

***

On this eurozone side of the Channel, one of the few advantages of residency remains access to the beers of an Alsation brewer called Fischer at a reasonable price.

Just to be clear about this, there is no canine prodigy called Fischer whose hobby is home brewing: the Fischer brewery was founded in 1821 in Strasbourg, in the Alsace region of France. They were taken over by the ghastly Freddie Heineken in the late 1990s, but have been largely left alone to keep on producing characterful beer as an antidote to Brewed under Licence gnat’s piss.

The only thing militating against Fischer as a session beer is that, were one to use it in that manner, one would be shitfaced around the clock, as even its tous les jours brew has an abv level of 6%.

Fischer’s sales are Christmas loaded, in that it goes with the Big Bird Trimmings Thing rather well. If you feel the need to get loaded….which – let’s face it – is the best way to get through Christmas Day without a nuclear marital break-up – then Fischer Tradition beer will enable you to do it without collapsing before the Queen’s Speech.

If like me you are partial to something smoked and fishy before the grand entrée, a glass of Tradition washes it down rather well while, at the same time, fooling you into believing you can cope with the goose, capon, turkey and roasted root vegetables that may well follow.

Right, I’m off to cook a chicken breast with blue cheese. More anon.