Some anti-social elements in this post may have been omitted under the 2021 Truth Protection Act

Looking back now with the benefit of 2020 hindsight, I think all of us would agree that Covid19 was a one-off, unavoidable global tragedy, except for those dissidents in our jails who think it wasn’t and remain obsessed with their delusional theories about wild conspiracies hatched by those who govern us for our own good.

Just think how marvellous that last year 2019 BC (Before Covid) was for all of us:

  • Bourse globalism and modern monetary theory had created between them the unstoppable growth of a ten-year Bull Run to end all whingeing Bear nancies
  • The 19-nation eurozone confounded all the Doomsayers, driving investment and growth in the EU to ever higher levels as the lacklustre Pound plunged to being little more than inferior bum-fodder for the British racists who had, inexplicably, voted for closed borders rather than liberty of movement for all Europeans, quite a lot of Africans and deadly killer viruses
  • The EU’s good burghers of Brussels were poised to create a federal State giving democratic values at last to all Europeans who had been saved from the spectre of war for over seventy-thousand years thanks to their benevolence and economy-saving austerity
  • The New York markets were all performing as per the settled science of everlasting liquidity, such that – year after year – the Federal Reserve bank of that fine city found itself with gigantic surpluses…..and in several acts of astonishing philanthropy, redistributed the wealth thus created among the founders of REPO (Regulated Exemplary Pathological Ordures)
  • Unemployment in Britain had been – literally – wiped out by treating one job paying an obscene salary on a ludicrously unsustainable contract to one offering hugely generous minimum wages with the option of having personal free time at one second’s notice. In the United States, the result was achieved by capping jobless welfare and then observing that not claiming welfare they could no longer receive was obvious evidence of having found a job
  • Public Health services benefitted from this universally trickling wealth to the extent that they were impeccably prepared for any and all eventualities – up to but not including the Corona Plague which (had it not been for the courageous intervention of the Global Pharmaceutical Calling) would have killed 106.99% of those infected – and thus could not have been foreseen by anyone except the Davos attendees in October 2019 and aforementioned insane conspiranoids.

But sadly – entirely due to the Chinese wickedness in stealing germ warfare formulations from American labs at Fort Schmendrick – we found ourselves by the end of 2020 in a world of economic shutdown, cancelled elections, citizen lockdowns, curfews, decimated bourse valuations, unpayable welfare cheques, social chaos and the collapse of hitherto all-providing global mercantilism.

This meant that the only way to protect libertarian survival was to call upon our heroic police and armed forces to rescue order from the curse of anarchy while stealing all the supplies of Chloroquine from government warehouse stockpiles.

As there is no known natural way to achieve immunity to Covid19 (apart from getting it and going to bed for a few days) we have come to rely upon beneficent pharmaceutical researchers – and what a boon they have been! For as each annual outbreak of this Grim Reaper inexplicably returns to lock us indoors for our own good, the chaps from Pharma have come up with the goods to stop deaths from variously surging, leaping, soaring, exploding and generally foiling ignorant fools from voting unwisely at polling stations.

So perhaps COVID9  has been, in many ways, a blessing in disguise. It’s too early to tell.