Life in the Age of all Things supsicious

Rembemer to be viligant at all times

There was a supsicious package alert in Stockport last night. That’s what the Greater Manchester Police told us: it was supsicious. Indeed, its siciousness was so sup, they closed all roads in all directions.

The news reports held us in thrall as we learned that there were people milling everywhere, stuck in traffic, panicking and being ushered away by other people in uniforms. These last were thought by most to be police. One officer indeed confirmed that he was a policeman.

And then, suddenly, the package wasn’t supsicious any more. It represented ‘no immediate threat’ to the public. As to the medium or longer term threat it posed, the GMP had no further comment to make; but eventually, they did confirm that the package wasn’t suspicious either. At least, not immediately.

We don’t know what the package was, and we probably never will.

There’s lots of supsicious news around today. The ONS figures have been suitably massaged by The Times, to show that Britain’s economy ‘has recovered almost half of the GDP lost at the height of the pandemic’. So Lockdowns may not be that bad after all.

Except that ‘almost’ is a tad supsicious, and the total lost gdp was 25.6%.

Net, we still lost 13.6%; and we now have a third of the year in which to make up the loss. I supsect we won’t make it, as that is almost one eighth of total gdp.

Boris Johnson has also come under supsicion for trying to ‘renege’ on the EU Withdrawal Agreement, but others supsected that 30 Tory rebels still leaves 50 who are rebellious.

Lord Lamont said there was “no way on Earth” the changed legislatio, would pass in the House of Lords, but further to my post of earlier in the week, it’s another sign that BoJo intends to purge both the Commons rebels AND the Lords….and use any hanky-panky by their Lordships to spearhead a reform of the Upper House that leaves it minus two cojones.

The PM is not only supcisious, he is also supercilious – and not very good on the surreptitious dimension, being inclined to super-silliness at times. Hence The Slog’s unwilligsenns to change the view expressed last Monday:

‘….he wants the UK to become an offshore Switzerland. And to get that, he has figured out (albeit with some help from near and dear) that, with a hopelessly split Opposition, he can purge the Tory Europhiles and render them – pardon the excruciating pun – eunuchs. He can become Führer of the Nation, scuttle the SNP, terrify the EU….and become Donald Trump’s new best friend after his reelection in November.’

Will he achieve his goal? I doubt it, but the supsense is killing me.

And finally, the Dominic Cummings haters are all over the media saying they have no faith in Dom’s plans to make Britain a tech tiger. I remain supertitsious about the agenda of these naysayers, who want us all to supsend belief in Cummings. Maybe their group name should be Suspenders.

They could even become new soap, Supsenders. Or perhaps a soup.

Overall, IABATO* applies, so it’s business as usual.

*It’s All Bollosck And That’s Official