Staying real

One of the great stalwart founders of true anti-State satire John Bird (left) passed on two days ago. I never met him, but I do get a flyshit mention in the footnotes of Adland history (for having helped persuade the Gallaher client to make a commercial and then brief two legendary members of the CDP Creative Department, Dave Horry and Paul Weiland*) to write a script that would give the Silk Cut low-tar cigarette brand a less “cold medical” image and trade higher-tar cigarette users into “safer” low tar smoking**. John Bird starred in the cinema commercial “Zulu” that resulted…. a wonderful pisstake of the movie starring Michael Caine.

* Dave was the art director and Paul the writer, but no such separation between skills was ever a phenomenon I noticed….borne out by the fact that Paul later became a commercials director, while Dave founded an agency in China called Horrywood – zero PC but still a terrific jeux de mots

**Hindsight is a wonderful thing. In fact, we now know that high tar is more related to emphysema than lung cancer. There is no such thing as safe smoking unless you indulge less than five times a day; my Auntie Edna did that and died at the age of 102 with all the faculties necessary to run any faculty of Social Anthropology in any élite University you might care to mention

Here’s a link to the final cut commercial. It went out into cinemas during 1979.

Very sadly, I must also point you – for purposes of balance if nothing else – at yet more liberal Whitey 21st century apologetic, self-indulgent, virtue-signalling claptrap of the most vomit-inducing unconscious hypocrisy imaginable.

Below is a word-for-word extract from an article by James Hamilton. Archly ignorant from start to finish, the piece signals virtue more than most of its ilk. Even its title – ‘Adland’s Hall of Shame’ – was both inaccurate and not so much self congratulatory, more a trade-mag hack awarding himself the DSO:


‘Was there a shortage of black actors in 1979, or did CDP merely have trouble filling the highly questionable role of the chief of Mbongoland, a warmongering Zulu-style warrior whose tribe was laying siege to a British garrison fort.

‘Either way, the choice of a blacked-up John Bird for the part was a pretty poor one by CDP, an agency with form on the politically incorrect front: one ad that narrowly missed a place in this feature was a CDP spot for Rawlings Tonic Water, featuring an Indian manservant called Tandoori. Shilpa Poppadom, anyone?’

Oh dear, oh dear: where to start? The Zulus are laying siege to the fort which gives the British soldiers two weeks to get used to Silk Cut’s milder taste. John Bird’s most famous impression at the time was that of the truly ghastly African dictator and part-time cannibal Idi Amin, whose own racism threw Asians out of his country and onto its doom. No other actor black or white would have been able to pull it off, especially Bird’s enunciation of “Silk Cut, de milder taste frome the Bensown an’ Hedges fag-makin’ company of the UK Ingerland”. The action of and denouemont of the film satirised the painfully ‘naice’ manners of the Brits, not the Zulus.

The Rawlings spot starred Arthur Lowe playing an Indian nabob, not “a manservant”.

Apart from that, Hamilton’s piece hits the nail on the head, the only problem being that it’s the one on his thumb. I do not apologise for labouring this point, and if you read his article in full at the link above, I think you’ll understand better why; for this gentleman is yet another bleeding heart desperate to view the distant past from the present. He’s writing in 2007, for example, but can’t resist something ‘…of 1961, where Kenwood was still knocking out fantastically sexist press advertising for its swelling range of household appliances, flogging them with the strapline: “I’m buying my wife a Kenwood.”

I think my mum would’ve orgasmed on the spot if my dad had bought her a Kenwood for Christmas in 1961; but Hamilton* surpasses himself by having a go at a Pears Soap ad from 1890, employing the gratuitous observation, ‘when the world was pink and anyone who wasn’t was assumed to be sub-normal’. It’s beyond both pail and parody.

James Hamilton is one of life’s apology-obsessed Caucasians. The point of this intro is not hanging him out to dry: it is to remind everyone what those of us who can still think (and trust their own empirical reality) are up against when it comes to compliance plonkers.

*He went on to famous obscurity, and running ‘Audience Planning’… Channel Four. Nobody anywhere is remotely surprised, or interested.

Not only are the Hamiltons of this world right at the heart and soul of dingbats unable to tell the vaccine from the vacuous, their arrogance remains undimmed by an ability to get the wrong end of every stick they’re handed.

Fast forward to the near present: I spent Christmas evening playing a mad Gambian game of cards called Crazy 8. The “We” of this ensemble consisted of three pink people, two black and one Yellowish (Chinese). It was a riot: I haven’t laughed so much since I saw Robin Williams live in Los Angeles.

The thing about Crazy 8 (as with the English radio game Mornington Crescent) is that it’s a scam in which novitiate players are constantly confused by new rules invented by the old hands – so you have to, for example, pick up two cards when a 2 is dealt…but only if the Day has a Z in it, and if it’s the two of clubs, you can play a joker and reverse the order of play.

Not surprisingly, the Chinese guy Hoi Su-Sui had never played the game before, but he won two out of three sessions. There was then an effortless segue evoked by my good self, in which I announced, “We have just witnessed ladies and gentlemen why China will rule the world one day.”

Huge waves of laughter, after which Mr Hoi quietly remarked, “Risten peopre, we are still mires behind West”.

The mad card game now stopped as everyone not yellow listened to what the diminutive Chinese gentleman had to say. There follows a rough (but overall, pretty accurate) summary of what he had to say:

“I am a University teacher influencing minds, but I am not and never have been a member of the Communist Party. I miss my wife and children and the village where we live, and this is all I care about. But if you ask me has life become better under the Communists, I would immediately rush to defend what they have achieved. The progress has been unbelievable.

“I do not know a single relative or friend who wants war, global American dictatorship, or who accepts the official view that Covid occurred naturally. There were military games near Wuhan that included American competitors experimenting with bio-weapons, and Putin wants to defend Russia against such things in Ukraine. I am sure our top military officers are guilty of similar crimes and I am far from alone in believing this. But I will be very happy to return to China when my teaching contract here ends, because family and community is everything.”

All the other rainbow colours around the card table then battered the poor little bugger with questions, but I never once sensed in his answers an apparatchik talking blather. In fact, so strong was the sense of ordinary human companionship by the time the next round of Crazy 8 cards were dealt, every beer bottle was raised in a toast to the “being” part of human beings.

The card-school anecdote explains why it is not enough for the Red-Green-Nazi-Pharmco-PentagoNATO rainbow to benefit from undiscerning smuggies: they need media channels and hacks to pile on the demonised hate, invented war crimes and mental sexual illness problems of The Enemy. Let’s take a look en passant now at some telling research on how media lies and receptive ideologies make a mockery of “democratic” elections in the Twenty-First Century.

Towards the end of the first ‘Covid year’ (2020), a survey was conducted among US voters to compare false or real beliefs across the Party spectrum of voters in the 2020 “election” of Joe Bye-byes. Plato said, “The fastest route to dictatorial emperors is an uninformed electorate”. I’ve always believed he was right. Think on these findings:

* Of the 21 relevant questions asked, a majority got only four right

* Libleft voters were wrong 57% of the time, compared to only 28% of conservative gop voters

* All of the most delusionally wrong answers involved progressive agendas completely aligned with narratives propagated by the MSM. A good example is that of the 66 per cent of voters who thought that doubling the federal minimum wage to $15 per hour would raise the average income of families in poverty by 25% or more. The real figure is about 1%.

* On average, the rate at which voters gave false answers varied from 61% for Biden voters to 42% for Trump voters.

They won’t see it that way, but these findings are a damning indictment of Democrat fantasies compared to GOP commonsense practicality. For the last thirty years, I have described myself as a radical realist: these data tell you why.

But either way, media persuasion emerges as both mendacious and illiberal if 3 in 5 of the left and 2 in 5 of the Right believe rain to be liquid sunshine…..and that’s before the Murphia start stuffing the ballot boxes.

So in short, we have supposed enemies whose ordinary citizens are pretty much the same as you and I, and when we meet the real thing, the propaganda we’ve been force-fed quickly fades away; the last presidential “election” the US had was dominated by MSM falsehoods so out of kilter with reality, voters were both uninformed and misinformed more than half of the time; and huge doubts remain about election rigging in Biden’s favour on a massive scale.

But for the social media liars and braindead, profit-fixated globalist depopulators, that degree of delusion is way less than enough: only utter and total frustration, distraction and data-led opinion destruction will do. Much of this is achieved by the use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) which is, at best, a severely autistic robot completely devoid of a right brain in which emotional engagement with human beings can exist and develop.

The Slog’s continuing battle against the insane idea that this Tin Man prostheticism represents the future continues to rage without having the slightest effect on anyone or anything very much. I dropped this little anti-Gargoyle howitzer onto the Twitter feed yesterday morning:

The situation outlined [left] is made more surreally laughable by the fact that beyond mobile internet – on desktop and portable pads – I sign into Gargoyle with no problem…even after the Big Spat of three weeks ago – when they deplatformed me, and then after I turned nasty changed their minds about it.

I am on the record many times as observing that AI is little better than a wooden leg.

After recently extended experience, I’d go further and identify it as a wooden leg belonging to the straw scare-crow whose left hand has no idea what the right hand is doing, and vice versa. There is advantage for we the Resisting 1in8 in all of this, because effective compliance avoidance by us means that the psycho-megalomaniacs are likely to let the most intelligent and courageous guerrillas through the net*.

*Especially as research shows that 100% of Bots can’t swim

What an extraordinary irony it is that far more socio-geopolitical information is available today than ever before in recorded history, but propagandised quantity buries truthful quality time after time.

A century ago, the opening up of public education and literacy in the First World made the Working Class hungry for facts, and thus gave birth to the mass media market.

Today, those in charge of that sector have sold out completely – from a mixture of ideological, fearful and monied motives – while obedience-to-PC education has discouraged independent thinking in favour of “ten zillion flies can’t be wrong” and “only pink people are racist”

I’ve been preaching this for over a fortnight now: enough verbage….the time has come for sabotage.

If that worries you, I suggest you unsubscribe.