The lesser-brained common deludaholic

Having ensured that economic recovery is now a certainty, New Labour remains in a fragile state: we must still regard its leaders (and let’s be clear about this, most of its followers) as recovering deludaholics*.

Accordingly, a crack team of tactical strategists have outlined the new ‘reality policies’ message to be given to all voters as guidance towards their inevitable decision to vote for a World Class Record Fourth Term for the Party that has done so much to transform morally bankrupt Old Britain into financially bankrupt New England & Wales with that disputed bit up the top of thingy that Tony sorted…Ireland, that’s the fella.

1. Strict control of the Nation’s finances
2. No control of the citizens’ finances
3. Ensuring that employees have the right to do anything
4. Making sure employers retain the right to fire anyone
5. Forcing the banks to lend money to small businesses
6. Encouraging the banks to keep quiet about having no money
7. Taking a quarter of Mr Plod’s money off him
8. Giving Mr Plod a hard time for not fighting crime
9. Taking reassurance from the rise in property prices
10.Taking pity on those who can’t pay their property mortgage.

*A Deludaholic is somebody addicted to self-delusion. An illusiholic is someone addicted to deluding others. Lord Mandelson bats for both sides