Close observers of media, cultural, courtroom and political matters will have noticed that, despite being the subject of endless enquiries, arrests, proceedings, censures, and closures, Newscorp is alive, well, and about to launch News of the Screws II after the dust settled The Sun on Sunday in the UK.

As they clearly didn’t devote many hours to the name, it occurs to me that a lot of thought will have gone into the debut headline. Of course, any decision could be overruled should there be a major piece of hamster consumption or Argie-drowning overnight, but let’s assume that the biggest thing that happens is Earth being struck by a giant asteroid: what will the Sunday Currant Bun’s opening line be?

The last Nudes of the World headline was ‘Thank you, and goodbye’, so my own choice for tomorrow’s screamer is:


…the asterisks being jolly important if you’re Born Again like The Great Convict.

Let’s see if Slogger invention can beat that. The winning entry will be the lucky recipient of a year’s supply of FREE Domino Pizza Deliveries…..assuming that anyone beats the line above. This is deemed by the judges to be highly unlikely.

Get to it.