At the End of the Day

O My God….

Did you know that 100% of Ukrainian Presidential surnames end in ‘o’? Even odder, 66.6% of Ukrainian Presidential surnames end in shenko.

And the winner is….chocolate magnate Petro Poroshenko. Yup, that’s right…the new Prezz is a candy man. And as we all know, chocolate is the temptation of the Devil.

Yet how spooky is this? Many chefs’ names also end in ‘o’ – for example, Marco…as in Pierre White. And it seems that food inspectors found all sorts of nasty things going wrong in Marco Pierre White’s flagship caff in Birmingham. The inspectors found raw and cooked meat cohabiting, as well as untrained staff sliding about on dirty surfaces. Raw meat, the Devil, and things ending in ‘o’. Like for example dildo, Bilko…..and Diablo.

But wait for it….UFO as an acronym also ends in ‘o’. According to the Daily Mirror, footage shot in east Canada seems to show a hovering and spinning object above an iceberg. I mean, right, look for yourselves: it looks for all the world like….well, nothing very much….but it’s a UFO and it ends in ‘o’.

However, surely this final piece in the jigsaw ties the whole thing up: it seems that California’s latest madman-with-gun had a manifesto…which also ends in ‘o’. And the shooter – Elliot Rodger – had repressed homosexual urges, says Fox News…my God, he was a homo. Which also ends in ‘o’.

There is no time to lose: we must all be vigilant for any sign of the triumph of those who are in league with the Fiends That End in O. Like Ronaldinho, Columbo, Guido, Picasso, Valentino, Benito, Yoko, and yes, even Castro.

In the meantime, it might be pertinent here to point out that the Wayne in Spain stays mainly on the piss. Or so I’m told. Did you know that the biggest single bone of fiscal contention between the Brits and the Spaniards – easily dwarfing the Gibraltar thing – is the cost to the Spanish health service of dealing with British liver disease among the expats there? Well it is, so there.

The problem, you see is el Vinho.

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrg.

Earlier at The Slog: Michael Govo’s meal on Paxos