Farmers marching sheep into London, freedom for flies, Owen Jones’s crusade against Orban’s wisdom, and Justin Trudeau’s battle against sanity. It’s a cavalcade of heroes tonight……enough, in fact, to make a chap want to hope that Sweden the Mad beat Germany the Merkel. So I’ll be watching the game tonight.
In this, the fight by all good and true LibLefts against the unfair realities of nature and bourgeois democracy, it behoves all those of us blessed with certainty to keep the flame alive. Even if it does burn the house down in the end. I never liked that house anyway, crammed full of scumfascistbigotracists. Burn baby, burn!
Equally, we the guardians of the Planet know only too well that – unless the North Sea is crammed with with giant propellers as the antidote to CO2 and Harriet Harman’s hot flushes – the Polar ice caps will melt by next Tuesday in sympathy with the campaign by all good Citizens of the World to stop Brexit.
Last year, for example, I posted on the scandal of multinational companies marketing fly-killers they knew to be ineffective. It rose without trace, which serves me right for even thinking that using fly sprays could be anything other than disastrous for the Earth. This was pointed out to me by several earnest saviours, one of whom told me she could “no more kill a fly than fly to the Moon, but especially not via insecticide” – a war crime she deemed worthy of the Hague Court’s immediate attention.
Well, mea culpa – I’m a reformed man. Today, my attitude to flies is 100% planet friendly and biodegradable, with the same carbon footprint as a paraplegic who eschews all forms of motorised wheelchair. I kill them with a fly swatter.
Not only is it fun, it is as fine a form of callisthenic exercise as you can find. However, when your farming neighbour (and I know left wing climate-worriers have never been exposed to such a traumatic experience) dumps 18 tons of cowshit onto the field right next to your house, killing flies is a 24/7 job. I love it, but worry at times that the buggers keep on reappearing: it’s as if they die, and then are immediately reincarnated as, um flies.
As God cares about all his creatures, my starting point on this one was that the flies would all go to Heaven, and so my serial mass-murdering of them was grossly unfair to afterlife humanity. But hey, if all flies are Buddhists, then it’s game on squire.
I need help. Please stop me before I kill again.
It surely cannot have escaped your notice that today, is the 23rd June – the second anniversary of the decision (by stupid, uneducated and easily misled citizens who for some reason I cannot fathom have the vote, although it could be to do with them being our core voters) to Leave the astonishing 900 year success story of the European Union.
To mark this Day of Shame – up there in the annals of mass horror with the Holocaust and the Windrush scandal – huge numbers of concerned liberal farmers are driving all their sheep into London for the day:
The organisation behind this outpouring of national love for the EU, FSFA – Farm Sheep For Autocracy – seems to be incredibly-well endowed with brand new flags, top hats and shoulder capes all gaily decorated with blue and yellow. My natural assumption was this must be the Russians at their meddling again, but as everyone knows that Vlad Rasputin conceived the entire Brexit project one day while invading Germany, this cannot be so. I am thus led to the conclusion that the spotless philanthropist Sir George Soros must be involved in some way or another.
FSFA also must employ a very good PR agency, because their Sheep-Dip march was the first item on the BBC News today. It could be that this is what those very nice SPA victim ladies and Mr Tommy Robinson lack. It’s hard to say.
But there is some confusion here: one of the FSFA’s myriad social media ads this morning told puzzled readers that this was a ‘March 23rd June Stop Brexit demonstration’. Eats shoots and leaves.
As he so often does, Owen Jones ejaculated prematurely for Silly Saturday by getting his own unique breed of feigned silliness in on Friday. Not many people know this, but Owen is in fact a secret-weapon double agent for the shadowy organisation Homophobic National Socialists for No Turning Back from the Genocidal ideas of Reinhard Heydrich.
He pretends to be a flouncing gay teenager with one-quarter baked theories about smashing, kicking and deselecting opponents, but this is a well-rehearsed front for his nefarious activities. He isn’t homosexual at all: he has a wife and six children living in Chile. He is the well-disguised clone of the Nazi Dr Mengele’s grandson, Enrique Herez-Owen. He has never been to Manchester in his life. His favourite marching song is the Horst Wessel Lied.
His sole raison d’etre as a Wombat18 recruit is to get idiotically unresearched, crypto-Marxist ideological blather into the MSM, thereby making Hard Lefties the laughing stock of everyone who isn’t, as it were, Hard Left already….and thus hugely turned on by the smashing, kicking and outing thing.
Let’s face it, his ability to do this is unsurpassed. Yesterday his target was Hungary, and why Victor Orban is a scumfascistauthoritarian etc etc etc who is – as Owen well knows – the only leader in Europe to have predicted the Syrian migration crisis, told bankers to fuck off, refused to be swamped by immigrants in a country of only nine million people, and been re-elected on his own without Coalition partners three times in a row.
But on Little Bo Peep’s heavily locked-at-all-times bedroom wall (covered in treasured pictures of his Chilean family) there is an enormous portrait of Eva Peron. Need I say more, Holmes?
I shall now draw a discreet veil over this disgusting little Gauleiter, and return to more palatable fare.
All of us committed to this, our enervating struggle for the liberation of feminists, LGBTs, brown people, fat people, mad folks, Hillary, Islamics, yellow people, Palestinians, Antifa, Momentum, self-identifiers, layabouts, Pizza chompers, black lives, young lives, bombed babies, drag queens, pearly kings, red people, necrophiliacs, europhiles and other threatened species (except old gits who voted Leave, Jews, pink people and racists fuelling hate with the use of gang-rape statistics) will light a candle tonight for the one true and unswerving Liberal leader putting pc in its rightful place at the centre of power, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Clouseau.
It is a crime, is it not, that Clouseau (left) is vilified by the regressive and repressive Zionist white hetero media for his aggressively progressive and impressive fight for transgressively permissive causes. At long last, he has given Canadians the right to choose between exploding their livers with booze and blasting their brains with skunk. He has given Caribou the right to be rogered stupid by by frustrated lumberjacks. And now he has enraged Zionists across the world by quite rightly offering the Olive Branch of Hate to Islamic organisation Al Quds IHS.
We say, “Hurrah for Justin!”
Why oh why do our myopic European leaders not do the same, and give the much-needed oxygen of publicity to those opposed to the rotting corpse of Israel? When a leading Al Quds moderate said last week “You will leave in body bags, the same body bags you have caused for the Palestinians, your army and the Israeli forces will leave from Palestine in those same body bags. We pray to the creator, to the almighty, a day will come when we see justice throughout the world, the eradication of the unjust powers, such as the American empire, such as the Israeli Zionists” he was of course speaking for 99.99% of all humans like Gary Lineker, Recep Erdogan, Ajem Choudary, Yvette Cooper, Jesus Corbyn and Anna Soubry who believe in Love not Hate.
Indeed, so passionate is Ajem to be loved, he too is supporting the #StopBrexit Freedom March, because he prefers the Love of the European Court of Human Rights to the racist Hate of the British Supreme Court, which wants to deport the poor chap purely for making Jews an exception to the Race Relations Act in Britain. I mean, when will this determination by the Yids to be treated as a special case stop?
Finally, whereas in Canada it is only the liberal politicians who are a straight male short of a sex orgy, in Sweden the population as a whole seems to enthusiastically endorse the ideas of uniform myopia recommended by the Ruling Libero-Socialist Class.
Sweden is an odd place. It is overrun with Elks, and I cannot deny there are times when I wonder if dark Scandinavian medical experiments might have led to Elk sperm expanding the DNA of the human population there. It is rare to see human Swedes with antlers, but the tendency to attend demonstrations in favour of unbridled migrant rape is quite commonplace. This has to cast doubt on the soundness of Sverigan thought processes.
There is a distinct lack of sunlight in Swedish life for a good seven months of the year, and this has, I often conclude, a causal relationship with their tendency to suicide and binge drinking. The latter has in turn evoked in the humourless Swedish élite the desire to make all pleasure expensive, thus exacerbating the problem. On Gothenburg after 7pm, seven out of eight vehicles are taxis. A hundred per cent of them after 10pm contain sober taxi drivers driving pissed witless Swedes home.
But tonight, the Swedes face Germany in the World Cup. If Germany lose, they are out of the tournament.
So for just this one night tonight, I propose to behave like that rarest of all things, a Swedish football hooligan.
I do recognise that a large number of people will find this post upsetting, insensitive and replete with racial slurs. I would ask them only to stop and think about what the point of such content is.
It is to highlight the degree to which the LiberalLeft agenda in the West is every bit as dangerous as the neoliberal Establishment that both mimics and manipulates that agenda for its own ends.
The Slog rejects Left and Right ideology – indeed, any group in society determined to put discredited and fantastical ideas before the good of the Community.
I am not a racist, socialist or a conservative, I am a benign radical who wants a return to real People Power based on good compassionate government, sound governance and personal responsibility: where the facts about efficacy supplant the sort of spin which, in and of itself, treats the ordinary citizen as if he or she were a moron. That’s it.
To anyone who values educated democratic involvement, freedom of thought, and the right to peaceful assembly, I am not a threat.
The rest of you can go hang, because you are a divisive intolerant nuisance.