Slog guerrilla group places Pelosi under house arrest “partly for her own good”*

*But mainly to save the other 7.8999703 billion of us from being blown up just to make America great again

In a bold act of humanitarian mercy, The Slog Ultra Pacifist Army rescued Planet Earth from the undiplomatic geopolitical muddle of what passes for Nancy Pelosi’s mind this afternoon. Following a daring raid on USS Lewinsky, she was airlifted to a secret African destination where she underwent immediate plastic surgery under the swingeing scalpel of pro-am eugenicist Dr Saul Bollocks. The results (see above left) were later described by Joe Blob as “a vast improvement”.