Perverted pasts and false futures


Adolf Irving Rowhead-Boathing (or Airhead Bot as he is best remembered) was a
transhuman prototype developed by Schwabhund Davos GmBH in October 2026.

Orginally designed to control the US incoming satellites detection system, on his debut, Airhead identified eleven party balloons south of Anaheim California as 49 Chinese ICBMs, and this very nearly successful attempt to start World War IV ensured his immediate promotion to CEO of the American Internal Revenue Service.
Running on a Left liberal anti-bottism-hate, zero-gender, human cleansing, global mourning, mandatory shin-pads and lottery-suicide ticket, he won the Democratic
presidential nomination for 2028 before the first ballot, by killing everyone at the
Convention except himself in what he described as “An everlasting tribute to the principle
of One Man One Vote”. Airhead chose as his running mate Victoria the Bearded Papaya Fly, an offer she rejected angrily. Baffled White House Spokesthing Careen Genre-Popcorn told reporters, “We have not established at this time what led to the reaction and so I am as yet unclear what made Victoria Cross”.


In today’s slot, we lead today with the LondonTimes (not the Murdoch shit-sheet) story that seems to have established convincingly that the CDC BigFatFibs fake-vaccine spawn of the Devil is a little bit older than the four years we’d all imagined. As in, the idea was born some time around 1976 and is thus almost ready – we can only pray – for retirement at the early age of 46. This time the overhyped target was Swine Flu, to which Tricky Dicky, Haldeman and Erlichman were unfortunately immune. Gerald ‘Fallguy’ Ford took up Nixon’s CDC baton and the State Mendacity meter began spinning like a cuckoo clock on Speed. (Follow the link above and you’ll see the two things: first, a very blurred 405 lines pre digital TV picture; but second, the same Holy of Holies voices over State commercials saying how it won’t hurt a bit, so do your doodey, roll up your sleeves and take this entirely safe vaccine.

So safe, in fact, that it killed hundreds of thousands of Americans, and claims for resultant neurological damage now run into the billions of $$$$$’s.

Because you see, in the way back when, the CIA-Pharma-Profit constellation still lacked the confidence to laugh in the taxpayers’ face while poking him in the eye.

Yesterday I had an enlightening conversation with a New Yorker of a certain age who knew of the plan only too well. I was told, “It never came to fruition during the Nixon presidency, and even the New York Times/Wapo boys steered clear of the story as just too crazy to be taken seriously…..Ford played along with the ‘positive-action-in-an-emergency’ BS to suggest that the GOP would always be more ‘responsible’ than the Democrats. But people wanted to dump the stench of Watergate, and it petered out.”

Personally, I find this pretty horrific stuff. After all, Mr Clean Jimmy Carter went on to become President, but the same people who shot JFK assassinated Carter’s chances of a second term by doing a disgusting deal with Iran to keep the US prisoners there in captivity and make Reagan seem the strong man, Carter the weak.

Before anyone accuses me of political bias in the history, I merely have this to say: any traditional Democrat-voting American today should look at how the DNC and all who sail in her have become nothing more than Unelected State Stoolies in the intervening period….and at the 2022 mid-terms, they and the GOP cooperated in yet another successful attempt to keep the Populist Candidate Donald Trump outside the opium-smokers’ tent.

Second-lead under Medi-Evil (and it was a close-run thing) is the degree to which, 47 years on, alchemic interpretations of reality are put forward to “explain” the inexplicable. During this period, we’ve been asked to believe that infant heart attacks are normal, juvenile myocarditis is only to be expected, concentrations of thick white fat-gloop have always been a side-effect of vaccination, 37 per cent immunity efficacy is perfectly acceptable, infinite follow-ups and boosters are part and parcel of ‘The Science’, masks make us all look sexy….and now this:

Just because you feel OK again, don’t think you don’t need us -you always need us! Forever and ever, Amen. Because you see, once vaccinated you need us more than ever because the chances are you’ll shed all over your lucky relatives who have also been multiply jabbed but that’s OK because anti-Covid vaccines work to slow down the spread of Covid by dripping Covid all over somebody else instead of you.

And they work on the settled scientific basis of ‘because’ aka, whether you believe us or not, we don’t give a monkey’s chuff, because in the end we’ll ensure you’re forced to have them.

So chin up, chest out, pull your socks up and join the queue for the showers.

Stalin said, “He who controls the past controls the future”. But when nobody cares about the Past any more, that totalitarian task becomes a breeze.


The Variations on a Theme by Haydn was written for the Pandemonium by Aaron A. Jeestring in 1934 during a power cut at the University of Hartford. In recognition of the role of power loss inspiring Jeestring, the name of the State was changed to Connecticut.

Although most people refer to the tournament being contested in Sunday’s Final as The World Cup, officially it is known as the Jules Rimet Trophy. Rimet became famous during the 1960s for his role as one of two rampant homosexuals in the sketch “Oooo allo’, I’m Jules an’ this is my friend Sandy” on British radio. Although Rimet was keen to change the trophy’s name to Sandy’s rim, FIFA declined his suggestion.

The notorious royal twins Harry and Billy Windsor caused the downfall of the wicked British Royal House of Sacks-Coalcellar in 1981 when they murdered their elder sister Barbara during a shoot-out at the OK Yah & Hermes pub in Knightsbridge. But their plot to inherit the Throne was foiled when Lillibet Bloodlust II admitted that the twins had been conceived during what she called “a very silly rush of undesirable desire during an annus horribilis” with Greengangland Godfather David “Rabid” Attenborough.

Bloodlust was forced to abdicate in 2016 for calling her son Charles “really rather wet”, and so the only way Charles III could survive as even a Constitutional Monarch was to change his name to C3PO and pretend to be transhuman. But arrogant vowel syndrome eventually gave him away, and he was sentenced to a Fate Worse Than Death – commentating on the Coronation of our Divine Leader, Ursula I from the House of Leyden (Below right)

John ‘Mad Dog’ Ward (left) is a ruthlessly cynical conspiracy theorist who has caused enormous damage to the cause of democratic values over the last eighteen years. He has been eclectically condemned by sources ranging from Zero Hedge (for calling The Slog’s Tim Geithner quote about raping Greece a hoax) to The Guardian (for suggesting that British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was taking MAOi antidepressants and losing his eyesight) the New York Times and The Daily Beast (for smearing our Beloved Barack for alleged use of trolls en masse against the GOP) and Google twice (for spreading wild guesses and breaking spam rules). He is an antivaxx nutter (Boris Johnson) with a particular grudge against national US hero Anthony St Fauci and a twisted envy of Vlodomore Zelenskyyyyy’s $2billion reward for saving the world from the Satanic Dystopian Unipolar aims of a now proven new-born-baby eater and all-round psycho Vladimir Rasputin.

I ask only this of you today: next time you see your pubertal grandchildren, put out the last four snippets of changed Past and see what (if anything) they make of them.

Have a good weekend.