Sunday Smiles

A pox on all their houses: the baffled experts, the pc fantasists, the climate modellers, the lazy hacks, the obnoxious fearmongers and the bourgeois gutless. Keep laughing folks….but don’t forget to keep planning

Vox populi & Pox vopuli

Doubtless most of you invaluable doubters out there have already been poring over the stream of contradictory alchemy that that has been acting as media polyfilla on the subject of pox over the last week or so. It comes in all the sizes and all the colours – small, chicken and monkey – and, at one and the same time, there is absolutely nothing to worry about except that it shouldn’t be appearing where and when it is and so experts are baffled.

It is the way with 21st Century experts that they must be baffled. Only with baffled experts can one celate massas – “scare the masses”: you must give the vox populi a pox vopuli, otherwise they will start to ask impertinent questions like “what the blue blazes are you on about?”

Not many people know this, but vopuli is an incredibly obscure Latin word meaning ‘incredibly obscure’. Put bafflement, obscurity and pox together, and you have all the necessary ingredients for yet another global panic.

How odd (or more accurately, predictable) it would be if, this time around, the Mengele-inspired Nazis hobnobbing with the proprietors of the Gates Motel really have produced the threshing machine of mankind…which none of us in the 1in8 will take seriously. Thus will all 8/8ths of the Resistance be wiped out. Allegedly.

Back to the Future in North Wales

I am forced more and more to go back to the land of Summer holidays when I was a kid, “Welsh” Wales. Somebody once said, “The past is another country, they do things differently there”. The Welsh are still doing them.

‘Hardest ever’ examination woman bitten by false widow spider’

‘Air BnBs face higher taxes and threat over Facebook speed warnings’

‘Weather cop confronts Priti Patel’

More bafflement, I’m afraid. How does a spider get to be false and why did it bite a woman with a penchant for difficult exams? Who can forget Peter Cook’s masterly monologue about ‘rigorous’ Judging examinations? “You need the Latin for the Judging and so I became a miner instead”.

What sort of “speed” are we talking about, who threatened Facebook – and are higher BnB taxes the way to drive up Welsh holiday bookings? Probably not: the best way to achieve that would be a permanent plastic dome over the entire area, so the rain washes off, none of it is lost and the temperatures creep up beyond 20°C from time to time.

Gosh – weather cops now. Well, we’ve had Covid Cops and Air Raid Wardens, so it was only a matter of time.

“Good morning, this is Radio Wales, and now here is the politically correct weather forecast for the next 24 hours…..winds easterly carrying exploding coffins and the possibility of some acid rain, but this will eventually give way to forest fires, especially in forests. Early evening will see some scattered showers, sinks and toilets as twisters laced with CO² rip across the Principality as a result of the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Chances of being sucked into ozone layer hole at Defcon 4.”

Late Flash…..All wind propellers out of action after blowing away in 500 mph gusts

A ubiquity of Gates

And so now we have Nipplegate. Not only was the “senior” Tory MP a serial Rohypnol perv, he appears to be a nipple-sucking same sex enthusiast. Homosexuality is, thank God, no longer a crime; but it’s hard to go lower than turning that Civil Right into a rape opportunity.

One after another, MPs of every hue (or Hugh) manage to get caught creaming off the top, having selfish affairs, importuning in public lavatories, displaying sly sadism, pushing the nepotism Abutton at every opportunity, fiddling their expenses and casually lying about every subject from Skripals, female State pensions, the effects of Brexit, the reliability of virus tests and safety of vaccines.

And yet we believe that they have our interests at heart. Why is this? I suspect because the view that “better this shower than the other clowns” is widespread in the electorate.

One rarely meets Americans who like Joe Biden. But for many, it was a case of “anyone but Trump”.

If we accept the principle of equality of opportunity, why do we seem unable to grasp the Equality of Evil? It’s not as if we’re short of evidence.

However, when I read the media clones on the subject of political scandal, I realise why the Powers Up Top had so little trouble poking the hacks into lockstep: your average journo lacks both spine and imagination, vastly preferring a role in the braying mob to a lonely counter-argument.

It’s just over fifty years since the Watergate scandal entered my consciousness. Half a century on, the Fourth Estate still immediately suffixes everything with gate. Why? Because it’s easy, and makes the crime seem more heinous than it is. Basically, it’s sheer journalistic idleness.

Several trespassers are discovered in the Buckingham Palace Garden. Gardengate. Bill the Jabberwockey has a penchant for experimenting on 3rd World victims. Gatesgate. Islamist terror squads caught heading for San Francisco. Goldengategate. MP paid stud to get her pregnant, and tried to put it through on expenses. Surrogate.

And now, Nipplegate. In the name of the Creator, enough already.

And finally…..

Just two and a half years after Batgate, The Daily Telegraph launches a shock scoop horror probe into the origins of Covid19. It’s mind-boggling observations are:

  • The virus may have been caused by a leak in the Wuhan biolab
  • The US was working with China on a joint project there
  • “The precise nature of the experiments that were conducted, including the full array of viruses collected from the field and the subsequent sequencing and manipulation of those viruses, remains unknown”.

Well jab me with a six foot graphene cylinder, who’d-a thought that eh?

It looks like a case of abrogate to me….one that requires more journos to investigate – without fear of Beijing trying to fustigate, Fauci working hard to expurgate – or the CIA looking to subjugate key witnesses with extreme prejudice.